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Men Heal Through Sex

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Are you having sex with your partner once a month? Once every 6 months? 

Take sex off the table. For a month. Remove the pressure and stress around the expectations. If it's a constant issue in your relationship, take it out of the equation. If it's a chore or an awkward encounter, remove it from the game board. 

But...inject INTIMACY into your relationship for that month. Go on dates, pinch his bum, hold her hand, run your hands all over his body, give her a massage, and KISS!! I have a very strong theory that when you stop kissing in the relationship, you may as well start packing your bags, because the passion is gone and the sensuality is dead. Kissing is the gateway to the soul. The gateway to all the passion and sensuality. And I'm not talking about a peck on the lips either. You need to get in there and pash each other's faces off! 

Having a child, insecurities, self worth issues, body image, lack of energy, lack of communication...all barriers for women that cause issues in a relationship when it comes to sex. It often becomes a "reward system" or a tool of manipulation. But when do you stop making excuses and start taking action to repair the connection? When do you stop conditioning yourself to not want sex because you're sick of the rejection and humiliation? When did it become ok that you're just living together as housemates, raising children and sleeping in the same bed? We have a belief in society that says sex in a relationship is a bonus, a "nice to have", but not something you can expect all the time. The men are initiating and the women are refusing. It's time to fix it. It's a total mess out there!!! 

Your sexual energy (or Kundalini, Chi, Life Force energy) is the very core of who you are. Without that core, we would be asexual beings. When we balance and unblock Kundalini, we heal all areas of your life. So when you ignore the very core of who you are, what makes you awaken sexually, sensually and hormonally, you kill off a part of you that makes you a man (or a woman). When you don't explore your sexuality or heal through intimacy, a part of you dies inside. And when you face rejection from the very person you love, on a daily basis, you cant even imagine the damage its doing. Or maybe you can...because you are living this reality and the shame around wanting sex in your relationship is making you sick in the stomach.

Men heal through sex, intimacy and touch. Not through the heart like women do. Each person has a positive pole and a negative pole. On a woman, the positive pole is the heart, and the negative pole is the genitals. So you can't heal a woman through her genitals, you have to go via her heart first. Whether it's a fight you had with her yesterday or trauma associated with childhood abuse. And for a man its the opposite. You can't heal a man through his heart first...he heals through his genitals. So when a man tries to touch you and make love to you, it's because he needs you, he needs to connect with the feminine. He needs to heal. When men cheat or stray from a relationship, it's generally because they're needing to heal on some level. They need to connect to the feminine. They just do.

When we ignore, condition or constantly process rejection of our sexual selves, depression, anxiety and stress show up in our lives. You think you're ignoring it, you think you're conditioning yourself successfully, you think you're dealing with the rejection and anxiety...but you're not. Because it goes against human nature and it will surface in your life somehow. Headaches, stress, pain, anxiety, depression...as you throw yourself into your work and try and pretend you don't have sexual requirements. What if you knew you were worth more and valued sexuality in a relationship...would you stand up and ask for what you require?

What you deserve? 

Contact me today for a confidential chat about what's going on in your life.

Catherine

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Breaking Beliefs

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I stumbled across this kids badge just now amongst the incredible mess on my daughters bedroom floor. I went to throw it out, then did a double take on the words that are written on it. I actually couldn't believe it...

"Boys lie"

Raising a child in this crazy world is hard enough, without all the external messages girls receive about boys, and boys about girls. Boys don't cry. Boys are mean. Boys lie. Boys hit people. Boys get angry. Boys are loud. Boys are naughty.

"It's ok darling, a boy likes you if he's trying to hurt you physically or he's stealing your stuff."

WTF??? What crazy fucked up world are we living in?? I hear parents all the time saying "oh they're just boys" to excuse the bad behaviour their boys are exhibiting. The belief systems we have around young boys, and men, is really really bad. And the validation from parents and society is just plain madness. Boys lie? Everyone lies...all the time. We lie to ourselves, we tell our children false truths, we lie to protect ourselves.

I am disgusted that this badge even exists. And any of you that know me, know I have had a LIFETIME full of crap from men. Yes they've lied, and they've cheated and they've punched me in the face and broken my soul. But that's my journey...and I know for a fact that these particular men were raised by ENABLERS. It doesn't make me bitter or twisted, in fact i'm out there trying to help as many men as I can. Because we have to CHANGE it.

And the change starts with you....so what are you telling your kids about boys? Are you scaring the girls off already at age 8? Are you joking around about the shotgun you've got in the garage to deal with any boys that come near your daughter when she's 16? Are you enabling your boys to be angry, physically abusive men? Are your boys allowed to cry when they're hurt? Are they allowed to be soft and emotionally intelligent? Are you trying to toughen them up because you're worried about what they might have to face in their lifetime? What are your own beliefs about men? 

So much more to come on this...and we'll be running some amazing workshops for kids very soon at the centre. They'll learn how to meditate, express themselves and they'll be taught how to identify with their spirit animal (guide). If you have a young boy that is troubled and is exhibiting behaviours that concern you, contact me now and we'll work out a plan.

Catherine

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MAN UP...

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“Man Up”…it is the most common phrase that any boy is told when they feel sad, hurt, or is in any kind of physical pain. There is an expectation to not show emotion or to always act as though you are invincible, even when the reality may be far from it. It is during these crucial years that belief systems are formed, and agreements are made with self as to how one will behave in life “as a man”. And now we live in a country where…

  • An average of 6.9 people commit suicide every day in Australia. Up to 80% of those deaths are men.
  • The top age bracket for male suicide is 85 years plus.
  • The second highest age bracket for male suicide is 45-54 years. 
  • Suicide accounted for 27.8% of all deaths amongst young men aged 15 to 24.

I just want you to read those stats again. Take them in. Don't skim over them. These could be people ever so close to you. It's a mess out there!

Whilst people are noticing that mental illness is starting to make a huge impact on their families and society, I don’t believe there is enough emphasis on the TREATMENT of depression, anxiety and other mental illnesses. GP’s will prescribe pills and send people on their way, which quite honestly I find appalling. I think it’s time we all start talking about this issue more and taking action. It is estimated that 1 in 8 Australian men over the age of 16 will suffer from depression, and not enough of them are getting the help they need. I always ask my clients "why are you depressed?" and they always look at me with a strange look and never know the answer. We need to find the cause! (which is where I come in)  

Here’s an interesting fact…in Australia, it is estimated that 45% of people will experience a mental health condition in their lifetime. I treat people every day in my wellness business, and I think you would find that each and every person you meet is suffering some kind of anxiety, stress or depression on some level, and at different times in their life. It might just be a day, or a week, or around a specific circumstance or person. It’s a scale…for each and every person, and that scale moves depending on life. So what if I said we’re all on the scale. That 100% of people are capable of experiencing a myriad of mental and emotional issues…would I be right? Damn right. So if we’re all experiencing all of these things, then lets start talking about it in a more “healing” way. Lets focus on addressing the cause, not treating the symptoms.

Are enough people getting the help they need? The simple answer is no. So what can we do to help? How can we actually treat these issues instead of masking them with pills? 72% of people did not seek any treatment before they committed suicide.  With less people seeking help it is going to lead to more issues in the future for families, relationships, generations, family violence, suicide, and an increased number of people suffering from depression.

So guess what? It is time for men to “Man Up”. It’s time for men to admit when there is a problem and it’s time for them to ask for help. You can start by visiting my website www.integratedmenshealth.com.au or call me on 0401541571 for a free health assessment (aka chat!). And of course you can find us on facebook at https://www.facebook.com/integratedmenshealthsolutions

 

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